This is Dyson Jergenson reporting for Capsicum Radio News.
Five band mates in the Portland Oregon metro area decided to conduct a mind enhancing experiment without the use of LSD or marijuana. Clint McKitly, originator of the experiment, came up with the idea shortly after listening to an NPR piece about the structure of bee colonies. Clint sat down at his frequently used drum set but was overcome in thought and unable to rock out his angst like normal. Instead Clint found himself in a series of thoughts regarding the specialization of labor in human society and its implications on the human mind.
That night over a dinner of ramen noodles and hot cocoa, Clint informed his band mates and girlfriend about the mind enhancing experiment he had come up with. According to his girlfriend, Gia Johnson, Clint was “beyond excited” and showed up to the dinner after taking a shower, putting on his best flannel shirt, and combing his hair. Gia and company listened to Clint’s hypothesis about how the unused 90% of the brain could be unlocked if an individual could focus all of his time on mental activities. This meant that some humans would become like ‘thinker bees’ whose only job is to sit and think. Band mate and lead singer, Lex Real (his stage name), was completely on board with idea until he heard Clint’s next assertion. The ‘thinker bees’ would have to literally never move from their chairs, meaning other ‘bees’ would have to remove waste from the ‘thinker bees’ and supply them with food.
“So basically, you want to be lazy, quit life, and have us clean up your shit and piss, and bring you food whenever you need it so you can think?” asked Lex Real.
Clint agreed with the assertion despite Lex’s crude depiction of the mind enhancing experiment. He was able to get the band to commit to taking care of him and Gia to begin the experiment. Lex goggled the word “percentage of human brain used” and read the entire article on Wikipedia entitled “10% of brain myth.” Despite Lex’s absolutely certainty that the hypothesis won’t work and that the human brain is already being 100% used according to all scientific data, he has agreed to support the mind enhancing experiment because he wants to see Clint make an ass of himself and it might give the band some good publicity.
This is Dyson Jergenson reporting for Capsicum Radio News.
