28-5-2011
This is Dyson Jorgensen reporting with Capsicum Radio News.
Yesterday, founder of d80z and fitness guru Clint Fogurty released a press statement dispelling increasing American concerns over the affects of television, ipads, computers, GPS, the internet, video games, graphing calculators, cameras, iphones, cellphones, blue tooths, and other iworld devices are having on their children.
Clint was the first in the industry to introduce the concept of ‘muscle confusion,’ which allows fitness enthusiasts to build more muscles faster, skipping the unnecessary steps of goal setting, habit forming, patience, and sustained long term efforts.
During an epiphany after one of his own d80z workouts, Clint realized that the brain is also like a muscle, and he has developed a new program built around ‘mental confusion.’ Clint had this to say when reached out to by Capsicum Radio News, “Some say a lack of attention span is going to lead to the downfall of American ingenuity and our ability to compete in the new highly educated global marketplace. No, it is in fact the opposite. Through rapid uncontrolled changes in our attention span we will in fact be able to multitask in my estimation 30-50 tasks simultaneously through our unconsciousness and open up the 70% of our untapped brain potential. Through my revolutionary new program, ‘59009,’ you can train your mind through the technique of mental confusion to reach this untapped potential.”
Scientists at several leading American universities have already begun test studies on human subjects. Preliminary results are looking positive as many of the subjects are unable to sustain a thought longer than 20 seconds and are still living quite successfully in the real world off of government benefits, Fluff and bologna sandwiches on Wonderbread, and internet reruns of their favorite television shows.
More is sure to come on this groundbreaking story.
This is Dyson Jorgensen reporting with Capsicum Radio News.
